Obama joke

A doctor from Israel says: "In Israel the medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's testicles; we put them into another man, and in 6 weeks he is looking for work."
The German doctor comments: "That's nothing, in Germany we take par...t of the brain out of a person; we put it into another person's head, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work."

A Russian doctor says: "That's nothing either. In Russia we take out half of the heart from a person; we put it into another person's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for work."

The U.S. doctor answers immediately: "That's nothing my colleagues, you are way behind us....in the USA (about a year ago) we grabbed a
person with no brains, no heart, and no balls....we made him President of the United States, and now.......the whole country is looking for work!!!!!!"

how not to flee from a car accident

Marine squad was marching north of
Fallujah when they
came upon an Iraqi terrorist who was badly
injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was
an American Marine in a similar but less serious state.
he Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given
to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what
had happened.
The Marine reported, "I was heavily
armed and moving north along
the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed
insurgent. We saw each other and both took cover
in the ditches along the road..
I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable,
lowlife scum bag who got what he deserved. And he yelled back
that Barack Obama is a lying, good-for-nothing, left wing
Commie who isn't even an American.
So I said that Osama Bin Laden dresses and acts like a frigid,
mean-spirited lesbian! He retaliated by yelling, "Oh
yeah? Well, so does Nancy
Pelosi!"
"And, there we were, in the middle of
the road, shaking hands, when a truck hit us."